He had one of those small greek statue penises
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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