You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
