Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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