watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
