My liver just broke up with me...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.