i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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