Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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