we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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