the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
