is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
