did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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