And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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