So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
