Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
