so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
