my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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