Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
