We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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