If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
