I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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