Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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