when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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