I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
