What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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