and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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