I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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