I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
