Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
