He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
