it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
