yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
