im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
