So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
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If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
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those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO