I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
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You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water