party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??