I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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