He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
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This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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