I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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