If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
