I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
