Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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