dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize