yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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