i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Just cropdusted the office
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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