You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
