Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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