I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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