so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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