is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
