Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
