this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
