when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
