I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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