CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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