is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
