he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
