it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
