I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
