so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
this will be a night to untag.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
