I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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