On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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