He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
