i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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