I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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