Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
